Still Searching for Happiness in the Mountains

It was a flashback of all the memories both good and bad technically, but every emotion was felt and felt deeply! Once a famous astrologer told me that "you'll have a good life on professional front but personal life will have struggles and you'll never find happiness" and it broke my heart. I could have given any thing at that point of time to know how being happy feels like. I don't know what it means when someone says I'm enjoying it and I'm the happiest... ahh! I feel neither of it. Hence the solo backpack trip, not knowing exactly where I'm going, what will I find and for how long will I stay there. I'm not someone who can preach here about life lessons, just sharing my feelings of the places I travelled to.
I left for Karnaprayag very early in the morning with one big trolley bag, one backpack and one laptop bag. Not to forget I also carried my  kitchen utensils, because the plan was to cook (in earthen pots) my own food while living and travelling in the mountains. I reached Karnaprayag and settled down in a day. Unfortunately, didn't get the time to explore the place because I used to be so busy with my office work and by the time I would get free, it used to get dark and everything was shut down by 6. I started waiting for weekends to explore places around.

On Christmas I travelled to Joshimath and lived there for a week out of sheer laziness. But again office kept me occupied enough to discourage from travelling.
Given how much I enjoyed my solo trip to Ujjain, I was expecting this trip to be more exciting. But some time during my trip, I realised that I'm not that comfortable with extreme cold weather. Nonetheless, I had seen enough pictures and videos of people going on treks in the mountains, and who said how much they enjoyed the challenges, and decided to give it a go. I was hoping the wonderful view would definitely be an icing on the cake. So I left for Auli and trekked to Gorson Bugyal, yes one of the easiest as per Google. While I was hoping for a sense of achievement and some sort of exhilaration, it was something completely opposite. I was still that hollow, shallow self of a girl that had left my city just a week ago to find happiness.
Now I'm wondering whether this trip was even worth it.
And my struggle to find happiness still continues...