This Indonesian Mother Has a Powerful Message for All Women Who Want to Travel

When we hear the words 'a female solo traveller', our mind immediately pictures a young (probably unmarried), independent woman in a trekking gear carrying a rucksack!

Imagine. That's how limited our vision of a female solo traveller is! Mostly because in a world like ours, it's hard to imagine all kinds of women taking up travelling full-time due to the countless restrictions we impose on them under the veil of safety and protection. But sometimes, life brings you face to face with your own limitations and you get a chance to unlearn and evolve. This is exactly what happened with me when I was backpacking in Bagan, Myanmar.

At first glance Brilianti appeared to be a traditional Muslim woman who respects her religion and wouldn't get herself to do anything challenging or bold. But this perception changed right after my first interaction with her.

I met Brilianti in a backpacker hostel when at 3.00 am in the night, I along with two other men arrived at the dormitory that she was staying in. She took a glance at us and quickly went on to share "If you guys are planning to see the sunrise tomorrow, do not take the bikes provided by the hostel. I know a place where you can get bikes for half the price. I will show it to you in the morning."

Just two hours after this ice-breaker, all set with her 3-year-old, there she was, finding bikes for us! She had even asked us to follow her if we wanted to see the best sunrise point of Bagan. But we were rather slow for her, and she was already on her way to explore the city at 5.00 am!

I was intrigued by this mysterious lady, and later when we were back at the hostel, I had the chance to know more about her. Brilianti had an interesting story to tell:

Tell me more about yourself – Where are you from, what do you do?

"I am Brilianti, a solo traveller from Balikpapan, Indonesia. I am a 27-year-old mother and this my son, Aldrich, who is three. I come from an educated family and even though my parents always had money, we never travelled when I was younger.

Back at my parents' house, we share the courtyard with the neighbours. It is hard to not attract their attention whenever I am there as they find me quite unique and they are always curious about my hobbies, lifestyle and adventures abroad."

What inspired you to travel?

"I started travelling when I was 21-years-old, just about to graduate from the University. One day, I came across an inspiring article on the internet – 'Why you must travel before you turn 30'. After reading it, I realised that many of us in don't get to travel at all. We think that travelling is just for someone who has a lot of money. And that is the reason why we just work or study or settle for something that is simply boring. I wanted to break this misconception, and that's how I decided to start travelling.

How long have you been travelling with your son?

"It has been five months since I started travelling with my son. We have been to around 7 countries in Southeast Asia – Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore and Myanmar. Six of these we covered by the land route, except for Myanmar, for which we took a flight from Malaysia."

While most mothers are very protective of their children, and want to keep them safe from the outside world, you choose to take him out to explore. What made you choose this?

"I have seen parents who teach their kids alphabets, numbers, drawing and other common activities at this age. Of course, these lessons are important, but I also think that there are more important lessons that a kid must learn – it is what I call the 'knowledge of human being'.

I want him to have these invaluable lessons through travelling:

– Why we must respect other cultures and religions

– How to queue up when we are using public services and transport

– Why we must not waste food while eating

– How to adapt in uncomfortable situations and weather conditions

– How to reduce garbage, and clean up after yourself

And many more other things that can only be learnt outdoors."

It is unusual for most people to see a woman traveller in a burqa. Does your attire affect your journeys?

"Yes, wearing syar'i hijab that covers half of my face is unusual for most people. I've seen a good number of people on the streets talk in hushed tones, assuming me to be something akin to a terrorist. There are others who ask me why I cover my body in tropical countries where the temperature is high. But it is a part of my culture, and I like wearing it."

What challenges do you face on your journeys? How do you overcome them?

"The hardest challenge for me is to cross the land borders. I bring two backpacks and one trolley bag with a total weight of 30 kg! To cross land borders, we need to walk fast with all the luggage for about a distance of two kilometres. My son almost cries when we have to do it.

Another problem is the hijab. The immigration officers are always suspicious that I am one of the illegal migrant labourers from Malaysia. Every land border makes me want to give up on my journey but God helps me in magical ways. When some immigration officer sees us walking with all the luggage, they give us free rides across the border."

How does your family see your way of travel? Do they support you?

"My parents travel, but they are not actually travellers (you know what I mean). So in their eyes, I am a crazy mother with a weird hobby. They don't support this decision. That's why I try to keep my travel journeys secret from them. I am lucky that I have a husband who is also a traveller. He is an understanding partner who supports me through everything."

How do you fund your travels?

"My husband gives me money to travel. But the fact is that I rarely use that money because I have started working as a digital nomad. I have my own money to spend for my journeys. On road, I have learnt many hacks to save money while not cutting down the experience. And as I've said before, we don't need big money to travel, if we travel smart."

Do you see yourself as an inspiration for female travellers?

"If someone is reading my story, especially women, I hope they can learn something from my journeys.

Most women feel that they cannot travel when they wear hijab; they cannot travel when they are already married or have a kid; they cannot travel when they don't have money. To them, I'd like to say broaden your horizon and open your eyes! Every woman can travel. You don't have to be afraid of the risks and shy away from bravery and adventure. Whatever you choose to do, just don't let your own thoughts be a barrier."

I see Brilianti as a strong, adventurous woman who has taken the gear of her life in her own hands. She actually helped me broaden my own horizon and made me more accustomed to the idea of culturally different women backpacking, just like me.

Travelling brings us the stories of many interesting people who we otherwise would have never come across. It surprises you with just how little you know about the world and its citizens. And as Brilianti would have put it, it brings you 'the knowledge of human being'.

You can follow Brilianti on her escapades on her Instagram.

Have you met interesting travellers whose story should reach out to the world. Tell us in the comments below.

–