Six years ago, I began travelling solo. The internet was flooded with new articles on why solo travelling is the best thing in the world and that one must try it before they turn 25. I didn't know whether I was getting influenced or not but it felt like the right thing to do.
Hoping to write my own article titled 'I left my job and travelled solo', I left my decent job without much thought. In a few weeks, I went on my first solo trip to the hills. Cliched as it may sound now, this trip was to the emerging hipster paradise Parvati Valley. This was the first time that I was meeting strangers from across the world, learning about their world views and doing things that I had never known about. I liked the trip and eventually, I fell in love with travelling solo.
For the next six years, I travelled solo to more than 20 states in India. However, the effervescence fizzled out slowly. Now the backpacking landscape in India has changed, as has my travel psychology.
Last month, I couldn't convince myself to go on a solo trip to the Kartarpur Corridor in Pakistan. I had gotten the permit to visit the religious site after due deliberation, the destination was interesting enough, and as a travel writer, I would have a great story to write once I came back. I had my tickets booked and my luggage packed when I finally decided that I didn't want to go. Some of my college friends were in town, meeting each other after a long time, and also my office colleagues had thrown a house party on the weekend. FOMO set in, and I decided to not go.
At that moment I had an epiphany. I realised that I was not enjoying my solo trips as much as I used to. In fact, the past few trips were not at all relaxing for me. Isn't solo travel supposed to be stress relieving? Isn't solo travel the answer to all problems?
The reality is, solo travel is not always a stressbuster. There are many situations wherein travelling solo can affect mental health negatively:
1. Are you travelling solo to avoid people?
While solo travel is meant for enjoying your own company, some people do it only to avoid people. Humans do have a need to be amidst positive company and avoid negative vibes, but being alone may not truly cut out negative vibes. If you have been self-loathing for a while and have a negative outlook about things, your own company may be detrimental to your mental health. So, a better idea would be to travel with your friends and family members who care about you.
2. Are you seeking a miracle?
Visiting a new place breaks down the monotony of a tiresome routine. But expecting any particular place to miraculously transform your life or personality is too much to expect. Many people are mesmerised by other people's solo journey and plan their solo trip towards attaining that 'nirvana'. Later, they return disappointed, if not disillusioned and become cynical towards taking solo trips. So, being realistic about a solo trip will certainly be more helpful.
3. Are you travelling solo for social media?
Sometimes you work too hard for social media, travelling solo to certain places where your friends wouldn't want to go. You may pretend to like the place, hiding how difficult the journey is. The reward is just a few likes on your social media but you end up investing too much for it. In the end, you may feel that the journey was not worth it, based on the reaction that you receive on social media. This is a case of prioritising strangers before yourself and throwing away your own mental and physical health.
4. Are you travelling solo just to prove a point?
It might be cool and rebellious to do things that others are not doing but it is not necessary that you will feel happier once you have established that image about yourself. If the unique identity that you have built for yourself is restricting you from mingling with others and being yourself, you are not helping yourself. You are caught in a trap set by yourself which stops you from enjoying many things that you wish to. In order to avoid dissatisfaction, you must rise above your misconceptions and stop pretending to enjoy things.
5. Are you travelling solo while others are having fun?
Travelling solo when your family members or friends are engaging in social activities and are enjoying themselves, can cause a serious case of FOMO. It might happen that you had always longed to travel solo to a place and have finally got the opportunity. But if your heart is somewhere else, you are certainly not going to enjoy your trip. You might also be pushing too hard to appear happier than others. But deep down you would know that you are not. So, in case a social event turns up during a planned trip, choose to go on the trip only if the event does not mean anything to you.
6. Are you travelling solo just because of your habit?
You could be a serial backpacker who is habituated to travelling alone. However, things might change over the years and your mental make-up may not be the same after years. If you have hit a point where an activity that helped you break the monotony of routine has itself becoming monotonous, it’s time for a change. Travelling with other people may be difficult, to begin with, but you should be ready to take on some challenges.
For the past few months, I have been travelling with one or more friends, and I am enjoying it. It took me a while to find like-minded individuals who enjoy exactly the same things that I enjoy while travelling but now that I have found the right company, my travel experience has elevated. This does not mean that I will not consider travelling solo at all. There are still a few destinations where I would like to be among total strangers and re-discover myself. But I have ensured that I will never travel solo for the above reasons because I always want to come back home fresh and recharged.
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