Solo female travel is considered a millennial thing, especially in India. Women, after marriage and children are supposed to have a life orbiting around their families. Their hobbies, if pursued independently, are likely to bring a smirk on people’s faces. She could either be branded a rebel, a radical and sometimes judgement about her relationship with family and children are also in order. Such is our cultural conditioning.
Fortunately for me, I had a supportive husband and he encouraged me to travel solo. I had my own apprehensions for the trip. I was very careful to choose a destination within my comfort zone. If truth be told, in the entire trip, I always had a sign of caution hanging over my head. Never did I dare to do anything beyond for I feared to get lost and make a mistake. Yet I was happy in my little bubble of doing something that most of us don't even get a chance to. This was until I met Neeru Saluja.
I accidentally came across the retired professor at the Jaipur Literature Festival and got introduced to her by a common friend. She told me that Neeru Saluja has travelled to more than 75 countries at the age of 66. The word “travel” was enough to draw my curiosity towards her. I started a conversation and came to know that not only did she travel solo most of the time but she had been to those places in the world which lay sleepily inside that 'impossible-to-do' bucket list for me.
From scuba diving in the Galapagos island, chasing wildlife in the Okavango delta, 54- -km-long hike in Milford Sound and trekking the Inca trail in Machu Picchu. As if that wasn't enough to make me gawk at her she added that she had been back from Antarctica recently.
Up until this point, I thought that only people from Nat Geo or Discovery Channel engaged in such activities. But Neeru Saluja is from my very own city of Jaipur, raised within the same folds of society and still able to do all this at her age. She is a traveller with a capital 'T'.
I was intrigued by her. I wondered if she faced similar issues of societal norms, gender expectations family demands and financial crunches like most of us. I wondered about her vested interest to travel to at least half of the number of places as her at her age. A few weeks since I first met her, here I am, sitting in her living room. She is busy completing paperwork for her upcoming trip to Moldova and Belarus (wherever on the map it exists, I thought).
Tell me about your travel beginnings
"I had always enjoyed travel, even when I was a little girl", said Neeru. "My father was an open-minded person and made sure I was exposed to a variety of experiences in life. He took me along to watch shows, theatres and exhibits in the city. I was keen to pursue my higher education in a city that was far from my home town which he encouraged and also made sure that I took care of my travel arrangements myself whenever I wanted to be home. That was the point from where I developed a desire to do things on my own and it gave me a certain level of confidence. Many times I would travel sitting on the top of the train compartment or on its floor. My determination to never alter my travel plans despite the discomfort of the journey laid my foundation to cope with any situation."
My thoughts drifted to my own childhood. My parents had also brought me up in a similar fashion. Despite having three children to raise they made sure we were all independent and found solutions to our own problems. In return for the independence they had bestowed on us, they allowed themselves some time off without us after we were of a certain age. They travelled extensively, and while they were at it, we learned to cook, manage house finances, do the groceries and most importantly, have fun. It was a win-win situation for all of us.
On the contrary, now I am surrounded by modern mothers including me who never let their kids struggle. We have become save-the-day genies for our children. Off late I read a new-age term called “bulldozer parenting” that rightly defines what we are doing. This eventually results in children who grow up to stumble at their very first obstacle when exposed to the real world. This type of parenting is the reason why most of us fear to let our children to be on their own for travel or anything else in their lives even after they are grown-ups.
I brought my attention back to Neeru. "When I got married, my husband shared my passion. With financial constraints and job restrictions, the trips we took were not ones that were very planned. We would just get ready to go anywhere at the drop of a hat. Wherever the Vespa scooter would take us we went", she smiled.
This made me think about how the definition of a holiday for most of us is social media influenced nowadays. After looking at check inns and location tags on Facebook and Instagram all we want to do is to board a flight to a faraway place, check into a luxury property and have meticulously planned itinerary of attractions to cover. There might be nothing wrong with doing this but such trips require a lot of pre-planning, time, energy and of course money, which is why we cannot travel as much as we want to. Holidaying on limited resources and on whatever little time we got is not often thought of.
How did you manage to travel so much on fixed salaries?
"You won’t believe how much I saved everywhere. Anything that involved splurging was never a part of my life. Never did I buy expensive clothing and fancy handbags. We should make careful investments from our young age. Post-retirement, I have pensions coming for both of us and I run a boutique hotel for added income. My first priority was the education of my kids.
Ten years ago I came to know that my husband was terminally ill. I had to hold the fort for all of us and got my children married as soon as possible. My family is my pillar of strength now . With their unconditional support, nobody ever questioned my decisions and even if they did, I don’t think I owed an explanation to them. My daughter Saumya has accompanied me on several trips and she is the one who is also bitten by the same travel bug."
What is it that you miss on your travel from back home?
"It has to be my grandson, Yug. I just adore him. All I want to do is to pack him up in my suitcase and take him along with me everywhere. Once I actually did take him with me when he was just six years old. We got along really well. Every time I come back home he would come running to me with his arms open, she beamed. When I am at home, I love to dance, knit, stitch and take care of my plants. In order to capture my travel moments I have also pursued a course on photography recently. As much as I want to travel to new places I want to learn new things as well. As much or as little life can offer I want to have it all."
How do you maintain your health and fitness regime?
"Travelling needs fitness, anything I want to do first needs a healthy body. I follow a very strict diet plan whenever I am home. I have a time-table to eat and do exercises and yoga. I do a lot of meditation which also helps me to cater to travel anxieties."
Have you ever made travel mistakes?
"Of course I have, but I call them happy travel accidents. There are times when things went horribly wrong. I was stranded without a visa in an unknown country with language problems. Once I got locked in the bathroom of a train with an empty compartment in Sweden. In an attempt to explore something off the tourist trail many times I found myself in a place that appeared hauntingly lonely. I felt scared I would end up with tears in my hotel room."
"But this is all part of the learning. There is a silver lining to everything. I had an intense adrenaline rush doing the polar plunge in subzero waters in Antarctica. I screamed like a little girl when I bungee jumped and felt my stomach roll before I jumped off that plane to take a dive. I might not like some experiences but I don't regret doing any of it. Will I keep walking down the road less travelled? Yes, forever!"
What is remarkable about Neeru Saluja is not that she has travelled to so many places but she has a life very similar to any of us. What she chose to do with it was different. She never let her age hold her back, and now, at the age of 66, when she is freer than ever, she took her passion to another level. Her story is an ode to all the women who are take care of their family responsibilities, play many roles of a woman, enduring the pains but embracing life.
The struggle to let the dreams survive amidst these duties is real and if they still do it's quite a feat, to begin with. Whenever you get that little time at whatever age, don’t get caught up in the mindset that certain milestones can only be achieved at a particular age. Just go ahead and make it happen!
“I have lots of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly." -Oprah Winfrey.
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