How this Middle-class Working Woman Convinced Her Parents to Let Her Travel

By Gypsy Pahadan

"Dekho, itna bhi eeji nahi hai Mohini ka dance." Convincing my parents to let me travel was a recurring battle. As wise men say, great things don’t come easy, I second it completely, “No, they don’t.”

I have been a late bloomer in almost every aspect of my life and travel is no different. I started travelling at the age of 24. Yes, I travelled with my family when I was young but only to religious places and dhams. They are fun too but the kind of travelling I wanted to do, this was nothing close to that.

I wanted to travel with friends and sometimes alone, to the hills, to lesser-known places. I wanted to trek, explore the mountains in my style but before that I wanted to discover my style.

I am sure most of you have similar aspirations, especially women. Today, I am writing this to share my story. I hope it resonates with you and pushes you a little to break through the glass ceiling without hurting your parents or raging war against them(that’s really important guys).

The youngest child in the family…(girrrrlll)

I am the youngest of my siblings. A daughter after two very obedient and dutiful sons. Do you understand the performance pressure I have had my entire life? While parents cover their kids in blankets, mine draped me in a bubble wrap. No kidding.

Parents and elders are protective about girls and there’s nothing wrong in that. The world is not a safe place anymore, tbh. I believe we just have to find a way somewhere between being out and out rebellious and a namby-pamby.

This was just a little background about me...

...let’s cut to the chase.

1. Keep trying till they give up

In my family, there’s a rule, if your request is declined once, you don’t ask again unless it’s very important. You ask the third time only if it’s a do or die situation(drawbacks of having obedient elder brothers).

So, after being denied twice. I came up with a strategy to tell them about places I wanted to visit, tell them travel stories of others, talk about famous travellers and somewhere in the middle of the narration I would say, “Mujhe bhi jana hai yahan ek bar”, “I wish, I could also see the snowfall”, “Kitna maza aya hoga ye trek krne mai”.

I kept doing this till they had that sympathetic look on their face.

2. Make good friends or else work on their image in the eyes of your parents

I have been blessed in this case. All my friends are amazing. They are responsible and trustworthy. My parents love them too. I’d suggest bringing your friends home to meet your parents or go out on lunch dates/outings together so that they develop a bond.

It might sound too much but it helps a great deal in winning them over.

3. Learn to save money

Must be wondering, “where did this come from?”. This will make your parents believe how serious you are about your passion, plus travel is not a fizul kharcha. This is the first aspect of being responsible. I always keep my travel fund separately and never mess with it. Wondering how? Read about my middle-class shizz and how I manage to travel so often without burning a hole in my pocket.

4. Dodge taunts, block replies & play a pull shot when the time is right

You must have gotten a few funny replies to your request? I got them too. My favourite - “Shaadi ke baad ghoom lena jitna ghoomna hai”. Now tackle these silly replies logically with a coat of emotions. I said, “Do you know who my husband-to-be is, how my in-laws are gonna be, will they allow me to go with friends alone? When my parents are not letting me be, how can I expect them to understand me?”

Be polite, be true to yourself first and then convince them to trust you once.

5. First trip to a familiar place with someone who your parents trust entirely

The first trip is the toughest to make happen. Make sure you plan your first trip to a familiar place where you have been to before. Well, the appeal to go to hometowns and close relatives’ have more chances of converting. I’d recommend, you plan a short trip, avoid solos and do not head to some completely alien destination the first time.

I went to Mussoorie for two days with my school friend, Mansi. I convinced my parents that I’ll be in touch with my eldest brother the entire time who lived in Dehradun back then. I also stayed at my brother’s place for a night.

Basically, they thought we were going to my brother’s for the weekend. On the contrary, we were there only for dinner and left at five in the morning for Delhi.

6. Share your complete plan/itinerary with your parents

This has continued till date. I share my itinerary with them, tell them about the places I am planning to visit. I show videos and read blogs to them about exciting things to do there.

You may also do the same - share your bus timings with them, leave your friends’ contact details who are travelling with you along with their parents’ numbers. If need be, get all parents on a call a day before the trip(include only those parents who’d talk in favour of the idea).

7. Call them before they call you

I call them every time when I board the bus/train. Also, when I reach the destination. I call when I sit for breakfast and once before going to bed. I speak to my parents twice a day when I am travelling. I narrate my plans in the morning and give the gist of the day in the evening. It has become a ritual now. I tell them how I am being responsible, eating dal roti instead of pasta and pizza for dinner(which I actually do).

8. Send them your trip pictures

I used to do it earlier, now I don’t, tbh but it helps. Share the picture of places familiar to your parents. As in, if they already know about a particular market, temple, monument or anything for that matter, then just WhatsApp them a few pictures. It’ll make them happy. Trust me, it does.

9. Tell them how much fun you had

When I come back, I sit with my parents and tell them everything about my trip. How much fun it was. What all I covered, what I missed.

10. Get them a souvenir

Surprise your parents with a souvenir. Not only will they be happy to receive it, but also be excited about your upcoming plans in the anticipation of a new one. Well, you may call it a bribe, shhhhh!

11. DO NOT LIE to your parents(theek hai, ±10%)

When you are planning your initial trips, be it with friends, cousins or solo, I’d suggest you don’t lie to your parents about anything. I understand we tend to twist the facts or manipulate things to get that ‘yes’ from our parents but no, honey, that’s not the way. Especially these facts must remain as is - the place you are heading to, people you are going with, mode of transport and Hotels you’ll be staying at. Twist the facts only to an extent that in the case of emergency, it doesn’t backfire.

While guys and girls of my age were longing for a yes from their baes, I was aiming at getting a YES from my parents and it happened. Today, you won’t believe it, if I stay at home for 3 consecutive weekends, my parents ask me, “Don’t you have any trip planned for this month?”. I swear!

I know, we are not the same. Our families are different, we are raised differently, our family ideologies would differ. Not everything that worked for me would work for you, but I am sure my story will encourage you to try a little harder.

People who managed to break the ceiling would definitely relate to my approach. I’d be delighted to hear about their story too. If you are a conqueror yourself, please share how you pulled it through, in the comments below. It may be a great help for so many out there.

Lastly, I’d like to thank the readers on Tripoto who encouraged me to write this down. This subject was on my mind for so long but I was not sure whether people would be interested in reading about my story or something of this sort at all. After the success of my last blog, How this Middle-class Working Woman Manages to Travel Every Month I received hundreds of messages on Instagram asking me, how I convinced my parents to let me travel. So, this was how this MIDDLE-CLASS WOMAN made the grade.

Follow Gypsy Pahadan on Instagram for more pictures and craziness!